Marriage Is Overrated: You Can Love Deeply Without a Legal Contract

My big aunt called me a few days ago. The kind of call you already know isn’t just “hello” and “how are you?”

She said, and I quote:

“Fela, I hope you know you’re almost 40 and not married.”

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Now, as an African man with respect for elders practically baked into my DNA, I chuckled. I told her, “Don’t worry, aunty. I’ll surprise you with a wedding invitation soon.” She laughed. I laughed.

Then I hung up and sat there thinking…

Wait. Almost 40? I’m 35. But okay, aunty, go off.

That phone call didn’t hurt my feelings. It just reminded me how marriage still holds this unshakable place in our society, especially in African culture. It’s seen as a badge of maturity. A stamp of success. A box you must check before you can be taken seriously.

And yet… I’ve loved deeply. I’ve been present, committed, vulnerable — all without standing at an altar or signing a contract.

So no, this isn’t a rant because I’m unmarried at 35 (and no, aunty, not 40 😅).

This is me asking a real question:

Is marriage truly the ultimate form of love?

Or have we just been…