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Why I Never Believed in ‘Let’s Be Friends’ After Breakup
The breakup lie: Why remaining friends is rarely a good idea, especially right away
‘Let’s be friends’ is a phrase that often follows the painful words ‘it’s over.’ It is an attempt to soften the blow, to salvage some form of connection.
But even before I had a concrete reason, the idea always felt wrong, like trying to force two puzzle pieces that no longer fit. I’d never attempted being friends after a breakup, and my gut told me it was a bad idea.
That gut feeling was later validated in a way that left no room for doubt.
I had met someone, and after a few months, we decided to break up. It was due to incompatibility, and the split was relatively calm.
Just two days later, I received a text from him. He wanted us to remain ‘good friends.’
Despite my reservations, I agreed. I thought, maybe it’s possible. Maybe I was wrong about my initial feeling.
Three weeks passed. The sting of the breakup was still fresh. I needed some technical help with an app we had discussed. Remembering his offer of friendship, I called him.
What happened next wasn’t the simple help I expected from a good friend. It showed why the ‘let’s be…