The Fear I Developed At 9 and How I Conquered It at 23

A story about reclaiming my fear of public speaking

Photo by on

If you could redo a day in your life, would you?

Because I would.

I wouldn’t redo my interview for the job I wanted but change the day I chose my degree. It made me feel like I was drowning with choices.

Barely keeping my head above water.

Sink or swim.

A chance at a redo

But I would change the day 9 year old me presented my homework on skeletons in front of the class.

14 years later, I got a chance.

A redo.

In front of my past teachers, the town’s mayor, and a few other professionals. In front of the people that inspired me into becoming a primary school teacher.

They gave me the skills and confidence to believe that my wheelchair does not restrict me.

But it enables my way of life.

The feeling

I felt queasy, a tight fist around my heart.

Leaving a gaping wound, as though someone had stuck their finger inside and dragged it around.