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When One Person in the Affair Rewrites History
It’s the final harbinger of doom.
In her new book , Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. discusses the phenomenon where the person who decides to leave a marriage doesn’t remember ever being in love with their spouse to begin with. Samantha Rodman Whiten, Ph.D. also writes about this dynamic in her column (and book) (Mr. and Mrs. Just Not Feeling It, or the Divorced in Spirit.)
If you’re having an affair with a married man, this Great Rewrite of History will eventually befall you, too. As Rodman Whiten writes,
Eventually the partners find it less painful to believe they [n]ever felt warmly toward each other. This is how the myth grew that the partners never had any connection in the first place.
You may even hear this from your married man when he talks about his wife. Personally, I heard that he didn’t think he’d ever find anyone else to marry, so she was the one he picked. He’d never even had sex with anyone else prior to marrying her. He had very low self-worth and thought no one else would ever want him.
In my case, the last time I heard from him, he remembered … well … half the truth. He had the part about asking for a platonic friendship and my…
