The Unexpected Gift of a Handshake That Changed How I See Autism

How a Stranger’s Touch Taught Me to Stop Apologizing for My Sensory World.

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The first time someone reached for my hand, I froze.

It was 2017, at a networking event I’d forced myself to attend. The room buzzed with perfume samples and PowerPoint laughter. A man in a too-tight suit thrust his palm toward me — damp, insistent. My skin prickled like I’d touched a hot stove.

“Nice to… uh, you okay?” he asked as I wiped my hand on my dress.

I wasn’t.

For 29 years, I’d treated my autism like something to outsmart. I:

· Carried hand sanitizer to “fix” my touch aversion

· Memorized scripts for physical greetings (“Firm grip, three shakes, eye contact!”)

· Apologized constantly: “Sorry, I’m just…quirky!”

But that night, fleeing to the bathroom to scrub my burning palm under scalding water, I realized: I was at war with my nervous system.

The Breaking Point in a Dollar Store

The crisis came six months later, in aisle three of a Family Dollar.

A clerk — maybe 19, with chipped nail polish and a name tag reading Maria — reached across the counter…