Member-only story
The Moon Is a Loyal Companion
Nature knows what your thoughts do not
Some truths only surface when the world goes quiet.
I messaged without thinking.
“I don’t know where I can get space. I don’t know why I need it so much.”
My husband knows me better than I know myself. He safeguards this part of me, the aching need for stillness.
But I’ve learned that needing solitude isn’t always understood.
When solitude feels like a sin
There’s something unacceptable about needing solitude. When you’re a mother or carer, there’s a distinct feeling that you don’t deserve it. You’ve chosen a sacrificial role; you’ve given yourself up for others.
In many ways, that’s true, but I am my own worst punisher. Frequently finding myself frustrated when I cannot walk alone, write alone, or sit down in a silent room.
As women, we often give this up without question. But I gave it up. And taking it back was the hardest part. Saying no to everyone, including my kids, to get the time to think clearly.
I’m not sure others really understand alone time. We’re often seen as either a pity or a puzzle for wanting solitude.
