Every Time I Fail I Hear This Voice Telling Me I’m Mediocre

Maybe you hear this voice, too

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It’s not an imaginary voice.

It’s the voice of my boss’s boss from eight years ago, holding my evaluation sheet and informing me — in what he thought was a comforting tone — that “It’s okay to be mediocre”.

I don’t know why he thought it was okay to say it. It’s never okay to call someone mediocre, specifically if it’s one of your employees. And it was sure as hell not comforting. Especially after that specific career path was terminated a few months later.

Sure, it’s okay to be mediocre. If you’re not an aspiring writer trying to break free, that is. When you think about it, the worst thing you could say to a writer is, “It’s okay to be mediocre.”

Show me one writer whose creativity isn’t shrinking after hearing that.

I’ve revived that scene every time I’ve failed since then. I don’t remember his name or his face or his anything. But I remember the feeling. I remember sitting in his office and stifling tears.

And even though that particular job from eight years ago had nothing to do with writing…

The word resonated. Lingered… and got stuck.