How I Became a Mother at 18

Without Giving Birth

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People get promoted to “Manager” or “CEO,” but I got promoted to “Second Mother” when I was 18 years old.

I’ve done everything for him — from changing his diapers when he was a screaming potato, to listening to his endless 9 p.m. rants about why he thinks homework is a scam.

No paycheck, no thank-you card. Just vibes.

Motherhood? Yeah, I’ve tasted it. And it’s spicy.

My cousin and I have an almost 18-year age gap. When he was born, I basically got handed a tiny, squishy human and told, “Congratulations, you’re now an unpaid intern in the motherhood department.”

At first, he was this cute little creature who couldn’t even hold his head up straight. Then he learned to walk, talk, and roast me without any warning. Kids, are the most brutally honest creatures on Earth — like drunk adults, but with better memory.

One day, when he was about six years old, he looked at me long and hard — the stare that makes you check if you’ve accidentally grown a second head. Then he said:

“Didi (Older sister), didn’t you take a bath today? You look ugly.”

Thank you for the personal attack, soldier.