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The Shortform

Shortform is dedicated to quick, interesting reads. If you are looking for some tiny nuggets of knowledge, easy entertainment, maybe a laugh or two😂. Shortform is designed for consuming content when short on time, energy, or waiting for a bus that’s always infuriatingly late.

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SHORT FORM | 150 WORDS

TV and a Captive Audience — Save Me from the Noise, Noise, Noise

Anytime I’m re-introduced to modern television, I flinch

1 min readApr 23, 2025

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A brunette and blonde woman in bright colors obnoxiously smile with their mouths wide open on a TV stage set
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All I wanted was an oil change.

The friendly associate stands ready to help.
If only I could hear him.

The lobby has the requisite TV, volume ungodly,
echoing, piercing the cavernous space,
seated customers zombied-out.

Ah yes, I’d forgotten regular TV.
The boob tube, the idiot box.

Two hosts, practicing one-upmanship,
simultaneously topping one another
in an aural firehose of inhuman, insincere
enthusiasm for filler nonsense.

Like QVC on crack.

“Look, doesn’t he look fabulous, Mia!?!”
“Did you say TWO CUPS of oregano, Chantal?!?!”

I morph into the Grinch, eyeballs spinning,
Save me from the noise, noise, noise.

This. Right here. My biggest nightmare for old age.
Trapped in endless waiting rooms,
no power to turn off maniacal talking heads.

Through sign language and lip reading,
I book an oil change, (hopefully),
face the blather, and wonder…

Why so fearful of our thoughts,
amidst a needed quiet?

The Shortform
The Shortform

Published in The Shortform

Shortform is dedicated to quick, interesting reads. If you are looking for some tiny nuggets of knowledge, easy entertainment, maybe a laugh or two😂. Shortform is designed for consuming content when short on time, energy, or waiting for a bus that’s always infuriatingly late.

Joe Guay - Dispatches From the Guay Life!
Joe Guay - Dispatches From the Guay Life!

Written by Joe Guay - Dispatches From the Guay Life!

Joe Guay, a recovering people-pleaser, is an essayist, actor/voiceover guy with musings on mental health, LGBTQ, humor and travel & nature as church

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