PARENTING/MOTHERS/THIS HAPPENED TO ME
A Supportive and Loving Mother Makes It Easier for a Child to Become a Better Provider
A personal perspective on how my mother made it possible for my brother and I to thrive at this
My mom is in her mid-to-late 70s now. She’s been there for us ever since we were born. My brother is 38 years old now. My sister is 40 years old. I’m 42 years old. So, let’s just say it’s been a long time now that she’s been there for us.
The great thing is that culturally, many Asian families even in the States, continue to support and help out their kids well past childhood. I’m not saying that she just gives us money indiscriminately or that we take advantage of her and ask her for money all the time. It’s just that when we’ve been in a jam and need her help, she’s provided in droves.
The love and support she’s shown all of us throughout our lives has helped shape our adulthood, relationships, and family life. My brother has a kid with his now ex. They broke up recently and it’s been hard for him. My mom didn’t even hesitate. She took him in and helped him as he continued to struggle and work to still support his family.
She has been instrumental in helping him get back on his feet and get it to the point where he can help his ex raise their child and provide for all of them. He even helps my mom around the house and isn’t an undue burden in her own household.
The way she’s helped me over the years is just being there, supporting me, talking to me, and giving me loving words. She taught me so much in my childhood leading up to now. I don’t know if I’d be the person I am today if not for her. I think she had that effect on all of her children.
I may not have always agreed with her on everything or her methods, but I’m seeing how well-adjusted (in perspective) I am in adulthood. Sure, I have my problems and my struggles, but who doesn’t?
I’m in a loving relationship with a man I would give my life for. I take it upon myself to provide for both of us in a way that helps enrich our lives enough to where we can eventually live far more comfortably than we do now. My mother gave me a strong foundation of all of this through what she taught me and what she’s given to me.
I feel like my siblings all have that because of her love, a little financial support here and there, and a supportive ear. Even though I am currently over 2200 miles away, I can still feel my mother’s love from a distance.
My brother gets to be right there and he feels it too. I’m not jealous of him. I’m just grateful that he gets to have my mother’s direct support again as his heart starts to heal and his life goes into the next chapter. My mom supports both of us in this way unconditionally.
I didn’t think she would accept my boyfriend the first time I introduced him because of the values and traditions we were raised on but she came around and saw that I loved him. In all these ways and so much more, my mom has become the best provider for her family.
Her decades of love and support have laid the groundwork and the foundation for us to thrive on our own, but also hasn’t judged us if we couldn’t do it on our own at the time, as evidenced by her taking my brother into her house. I also had to move back in when I was nearly 30 years old and going through a tough time.
My mom just ordered a bed for my brother since he was sleeping on the couch there and couldn’t bear it anymore. He had an accident mid-2024 and hasn’t been the same since and he was in obvious physical pain. She saw his struggle and made a sacrifice to spend a little extra money for him to be more comfortable as he’s also recovering emotionally and mentally.
Through these many examples, you can see just a glimpse of how much she’s provided for her family. She loves her grandchildren and the extension of all the family she’s gotten through each of us, including my partner. And she doesn’t withhold that love and support from any of us. That’s how you provide and help to carry it forward.
