Member-only story
Am I Selfish for Not Giving My Daughter a Sibling?
At least not yet
I’m surrounded by moms having multiple children. My two closest friends, both who had their first child after me, are already on their way to a second child.
I also came from a family of 4 children. I love my 3 siblings dearly although we all seem to have our own lives.
My daughter is now 3 years old and I’m often asked about when I’m having my second. Why is there such a strong expectation to have another child so soon?
I hear it all the time from other parents, family members and friends:
- “Have your second before your first is out of diapers!” – oh, well that ship sailed
- “Don’t you want to give them a sibling?” – I’m really not sure
- “They need a playmate or else they grow up self-centred” – ugh really??
- “You need to aim for a 2–3 year age gap – anything longer is too long” – oops, missed that window
- “Are you pregnant yet??” – I sure hope not
The Dilemma
I always thought I’d have two kids and that’s it. Now, I don’t know anymore.
I feel lucky with my daughter. She has a beautiful personality and I’m so happy to see her blossom. I don’t feel the…