Member-only story
I Gifted My Wife an Electric Scooter for Christmas like a Dumbass
With hindsight, me yelling “TA-DA” was my first mistake
The Holidays are a time for family. Well, visiting family. Well, visiting family in Mississippi. Yeah, Mississippi. But hold up. I love Mississippi because I was born and raised in Mississippi. So, I resent the way you reacted to Mississippi before you knew I was from Mississippi. But I get it. If I weren’t born in Mississippi, I would’ve loathed the idea of visiting Mississippi before you knew I was from Mississippi. In fact, you are probably still loathing the idea of visiting Mississippi AFTER you knew I was from Mississippi. I get it. I resent it. But I get it.
We visited Mississippi for eight days. Eight days? I know, what the fuck were we thinking, right? But we felt that eight days was a necessity. It wasn’t. It wasn’t. But at the time, we wanted to think it was because my oldest daughter, Harper, was only three years old at the time. And we wanted her to experience her country Mississippi cousins. We wanted her to become engrained in Mississippi culture. The racist niceties; the sweet tea; the country twang; the accents; the spirit; the love; the Black love; the Black Mississippi love. But yeah, eight days was four days too long. But Harper needed to experience her country cousins and receive a 100% approval…
