Before I sleep

I wanna talk about today (like it matters!)

I am licking the mango off my fingers and promising myself to sleep before 11. A mango string is stuck in my teeth, and I am trying very hard to pull it away. I’m here, grinning and cursing and writing this at the same time.

It’s 10 PM. I promised myself I’d sleep before 11 tonight. Again.
Will it happen? No one knows.

But anyway.

It’s funny how your routines can shift, and then you are the one who is adapting, not the routine.

I roll out of bed at 6 a.m., half-yawning and half-aware, dragging myself to the gym. After sweating it out, I stroll back home, music in my ears, feeling like that one-sided character in a fictional story—sweaty and just a little dramatic.

And weirdly, it feels fulfilling.

It’s like life is good, and I am too busy to enjoy it.

Just a month before, I was scrolling YouTube videos like it was the most rewarding task of the day, and now, I scroll through YouTube for maybe 20–30 minutes.

It’s a strange feeling — replying to messages 24 hours later.

I caught myself thinking about something today. Somewhere around in the evening.

The emotions you give to a place or person — that’s what you get back.