We Republicans Have Finally Saved Women from Abortion-Crazed Doctors

Inside the mind of an anti-choice conservative

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We’ve done it, fellow Republicans! We’ve saved women from the doctors who want to steal their gift of motherhood. Soon we’ll see smiling women emerge from their darkened houses, free at last from their greatest threat. Thanks to conservative lawmakers, women can walk the streets without fear of the crazed abortionist.

Oh! What a wonder it will be to see the tender females cry and hold each other, knowing they no longer need to bar their windows at night to prevent that white-coated phantom from slipping into their rooms and tearing their unborn child from its safe womb.

For years, any woman who was pregnant kept silent. She would wear baggy clothes meant to disguise her condition, knowing the closer to the 3rd trimester she got, the greater the danger. She might be in the grocery store and hear the click click of a pair of forceps.

Or, while volunteering at a school’s bake sale, she might feel the suction of a powerful vacuum. And then there is nothing she can do but suffer, knowing her baby is gone, its body parts sold for malicious purposes, and that the dreaded “doctor” is free from any punishment. After all, how could a mere woman fight a doctor?