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THE ONION WON’T HIRE ME, SO…
Statue of Fat, Bald, Middle-Aged Man Erected in Times Square
Proudly disrupting traditional ideas of what defines a triumphant figure
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NEW YORK, NY — In a stunning monument to modern American mediocrity, a 12-foot-tall this week depicting a fat, bald, middle-aged man with crumbs on his face, wearing boxer shorts, a stained wife beater tank top, and sandals with socks.
The installation, titled “Soaring Through the Ages,” was allegedly and is starting conversations online and throughout the city.
“I think it’s beautiful!” said Bill Simms, 54, a tourist from Beavercreek, Ohio. “Finally, someone like me can feel represented in modern art.”
“When I first heard about the statue, I thought ‘Oh, great, another tribute to white men!’” offered Manhattan resident Kadisha Reed, 28. “But then I saw it, and I thought, ‘Wow, he’s so thoroughly uninspiring!’ Which makes it inspiring in a way!”
In a , the artist Thomas J. Cole said, “Through scale, materiality, and posture, ‘Soaring Through the Ages’ disrupts…
