Sitemap
The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Member-only story

SATIRE

God Gets Distracted On The Way To Fixing World Peace

Now, where was I again?

3 min readJul 5, 2022

--

Photo by on

And lo! God became pretty upset when they looked down and saw the state of the earth, their seven day creation.

And they said to their partner, “God-Partner, it’s all fighting and squabbling down there below. No one like–even knows the definition of Love. Let alone True Love.”

And God-Partner said, “Well God, are you just going to sit there and paint your nails all day or are you going to do something about it?”

“Well,” said God, looking at their nails. “I mean, I’m half done. And then it’ll take at least 15 minutes to dry. So yeah, as soon as it’s totally dry, I’ll turn my attention to this mess. I mean, we wouldn’t want two messes now, would we?”

“Case in point,” muttered God-Partner.

“What? What was that?” said God, although they had heard.

God-Partner fluttered their seeing portal lashes. “Nothing,” they said.

So then, it took a while, but God finally finished painting all their gazillion doing-tentacle ends in fuchsia pink. Then they conjured a hot energy star to dry them extra quick. By this time they’d wandered into the God-Patio, and couldn’t remember the Thing that they had to do.

The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Sharmila Shankarkumar
Sharmila Shankarkumar

Written by Sharmila Shankarkumar

Writer living in New York. Published in McSweeneys, Slackjaw, and Points In Case. Winner of writing contests you've never heard of.

No responses yet