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THE ONION WON’T HIRE ME, SO…
Activists Unsure If It’s Okay to Mock RFK’s Voice
A moral and comic quandary
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. continues to spark outrage for his policy positions and public statements, many citizens are left wondering if it’s okay to mock Kennedy’s strained, strangled, overly hoarse voice.
The controversy kicked into high gear this week when protests erupted during the secretary’s Senate testimony over healthcare cuts and other contentious issues. “Kennedy has failed federal obligations related to research and public health grants, and the cuts he’s proposed are literally making us sicker,” Maryland senator Angela Alsobrooks outside the National Institutes of Health. “And by the way, he talks like his larynx got caught in a meat grinder! Yeah, that’s right, someone finally said it! Don’t pretend it’s not what we’re all thinking!”
The issue has left disability advocates, political figures, and comedians alike in a moral quandary.
“It just takes a quick Google search to learn that Kennedy’s voice is the result of a medical condition called spasmodic dysphonia,” said federal comedy czar Susan…