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A Phantom Limb of The Heart
About the melancholic heartache for a reality that never existed.
I spent a lot of time this weekend trying to find an explanation for a sensation I was having. Maybe it’s a feeling you have had at some point. The core of the feeling was that of melancholy heartache. Longing for something that wasn’t tangible.
The root cause was missing something that didn’t exist.
Before I go on, let me set the stage. I’m as of writing this 42 years old, I have a loving partner and a job I enjoy. I have more hobbies than I know what to do with and in general, I feel pretty good about life.
Are there areas of life I wish were better? Sure. We all could probably list a few things in life we wish to improve without the need to be at end of the barrel of a gun forcing us to come up with something.
So what’s going on?
I spent a lot of the weekend reading about maladaptive daydreaming, attachment styles, lifestyle hacks, self-realization, and the list could go on.
However much I read, watched, and listened, to various sources I could never quite still land on what was going on. My mind kept wandering to that nebulous melancholy. Shadows of places and people occupied my mind.
