POEM
A Codependent Kind of Love
hopscotching my way
to a sane gray
I trailed down the wooded path
searching for crumbs
of my heart
that would would make this life more whole
you told me you had lost your place
on this course, shamefaced
thought I could dream you back
make up for you, what you lacked
I got lost in the grasp
of loving you,
stranger
I didn’t even know
about the this sanity
contest
we’re planted
in
the productivity race
I’m lagging behind
so
I’m trying now
to dry my soppy heart
free me from my trance
I am an American born in Ukraine. I wrote this poem after having the experience of getting lost for hours trying to write someone back. Someone I had just met. Not a love interest, just a fellow writer. I realized I had brought him deep into my heart without consciously realizing it, and that I was trying to help him heal as if it were my responsibility, and as if I knew how. I felt drained of hours and energy. Meanwhile I felt like even if I had given this person all my energy for a while, the way our society works would make me feel completely unproductive. I was struggling to find a way to be kind and giving, while also preserving my own integrity and productivity. Thanks for reading.
