Michael Corleone Conducts An Entry-Level Job Interview

“We’re non-unionized, but still very organized.”

Image copyright: Paramount Pictures (Fair Use)

Thanks for meeting me. Ya been to Spaguzzi’s before?

I do all my interviews here. Try the caponata or you’ll regret it.

Fettucine Alfredo?! You gotta be kidding. Ya ask me, people who order Alfredo should be rowed out to the middle of Lake Tahoe and shot.

I was just being humorous. Seriously, get what you want.

Oh, hey, honey. One caponata and one….?

Make it two caponatas, honey.

Ya did the right thing. Anyway, on to the interview. I see from the application you filled out on Indeed.com that you have your own van?

Great. Now, our business is messy. Lots of spilled wine that gets congealed and smelly because of the, uh, tannins. You okay with that?

Good. We need someone not scared to get their van or their hands dirty. You mechanically inclined?

Like, say the van had been tampered with, think you’d be able to tell?

Not sure I wanna bet my life on “uh maybe,” but I respect your honesty. Anyway, to start you’d be driving cargo. We have guys to unload the big stuff, but you’d do the odd small delivery. Mostly fish wrapped…