Job Rejection Emails I Would Prefer To Receive

Trust us, you didn’t really want this job

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Dear Applicant,

We wanted to let you know that we will not be hiring you for the position you applied for. We were impressed by your application, but we had to move someone internally. It seems like a great job on paper, what with the 401K and vacation time and stuff — but trust us, it’s not. We’ve been here for seven years and most days we think about leaving for Minnesota and getting back together with Todd. Was he so bad?

Sincerely,
TrustCorp

Dear Applicant,

We regret that we must inform you that this position is no longer available. There has been so much internal infighting among the marketing and product teams about who owns what and whose responsibilities are whose and which team actually needs more people and it’s going to be a while before any of that gets sorted out. It’s not you. It’s marketing. Serena thinks she knows everything and honestly that whole team has a real attitude.

Cheers,
Yobbo Inc.

P.S. The CEO playing favorites is not helping either.

Dear Applicant,