A Method Actor Orders Food At Chipotle

I ain’t no “James Dylan” the actor, you speak of. I am Cap’n Blackmane, commander of the Greedy Ravenger, leader of the most villainous group of pirates to ever grace the high seas

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Argh, matey. Start me up with a bowl of yer white rice and yer pinto beans. Don’t forget the ‘tilla on the side, lad.

‘scuse me? I ain’t no “James Dylan” the actor, you speak of. I am Cap’n Blackmane, commander of the Greedy Ravenger, leader of the most villainous group of pirates to ever grace the high seas and I want ye to serve me a bowl of yer delicious grub or face the wrath of ye corporate manager.

Quit yer laughin’, lad. This is the way I’ve always spoken, y’cretinous half-wit! I’m a swashbucklin’ marauder like my father before me, born during the age of sail and I have but one goal: To quench me insatiable thirst fer stolen treasures! Now, give me a scoop of that fine bird y’got there.

Cows and pigs, don’t do me well, lad. My brother was mauled by a cow, he was. He oozed blood and puss for days. Thought he was a goner after the leg fell off. Stayed away from cows ever since. And pigs are bad for me cholesterol. Say, might ye put a little extra of that bird? Aye, yer generosity will be told for…