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From Egocentrism to Empathy, or about Letting Our Kids Be Themselves
How I resisted the urge to “fix” and learned to let my child find their way
“Emotional growth begins where immaturity ends; parents must lead by example.”
– Jane Nelsen
One of the most obvious signs of emotional immaturity is egocentrism. I read this in a book by Lindsay C. Gibson, author of the book “Break Free from Emotionally Immature, Toxic People.”
What does egocentrism actually mean, and how do we distinguish it from the healthy attitude of putting your own oxygen mask on first in case of danger, before helping others?
Because, yes, most of the time, self-care behaviors are blamed as proof of selfishness. It is so easy to be seduced by the apparent greatness of self-sacrifice as the ultimate proof of love.
Egocentrism primarily means perceiving the other as a sort of double of myself, who feels, thinks, and acts for the same reasons I would feel, think, and act. To this, I also add a bit of “I use the other for what I need to receive or experience.” And, to make matters worse, I am rarely aware that I need to fuse with another in order to feel that I can survive, if I am truly caught in the spiral of egocentrism.
