Flat I Lie

A Painful Choice

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Flat I lie

My breath on hold
as weeks pass by
dazed a gaze slants
towards the window
of returning pain
a stab inhaled
a hiss of vaporised
anti-inflamed
numbness.

Eyes downcast
upwards hoping
grounded strength
ethereal weakness
alternating heat
and cold I raise
my legs to strengthen
muscles as abdomen
filled with air implodes.

Inhaling deeply
the searing source
found and fixated
I shatter shards
of painful exhalation
recalling a moment
before all this
my naivety as if
forever is a belief.

And slowly over
gathered time I
release blunted
splinters of diamond
bright clarity
and thus I choose
to sit and teach
and not sit and write
as both I cannot do.