You Don’t Really Know People — And That’s Okay
It’s only when you remove the illusions that you start to see the good in someone.
I’m always quick to judge people without giving it a second thought. I form a complete image of them in my mind — what they feel, believe, and think.
From their expression, conversation, and a few gestures, I label them as a person with specific traits.
My judgment has been incorrect many times, and I learned it the hard way!
I felt very confident when I relied on my intuition to classify people as either confident, friendly, or cold; however, to my dismay, I was often inaccurate, which led to negative consequences.
People are complicated, and there are many layers to their personality, which are hardly visible to us.
Someone I thought to be arrogant turned out to be more trustworthy and friendly. The one whom I trusted a lot turns out to be fake.
While penning this article, I’m reminded of my college mate Sumitra, who came across as serious and studious, loyally holding on to that coveted first bench. I barely ever spoke to her, just the usual ‘hi’ and ‘bye.
After my father’s transfer, I moved to another city to pursue my post-graduation. I enrolled in a college using my provisional certificate and mark sheets, assuring the college administration that I would receive my convocation certificate within a month. However, a troubling thought kept running through my mind.
I had listed my old address in the application form. I was worried that the certificate might be sent to my old address and subsequently returned to the university.
One day, when I returned from college, a big surprise was waiting for me — I had received my convocation certificate. An even bigger surprise was that it had been sent by my college friend, Sumitra. She had somehow managed to trace my new address through a few of my close friends.
As it turned out, one of her relatives held a senior position at the post office. Perhaps he recognized my name and passed it on to her, as he knew me well.
In those days, there were no mobile phones, so I couldn’t immediately send her a thank-you note!
And someone I hardly paid attention to ended up becoming the most loyal friend I’ve ever known.
Someone I assumed didn’t like me was simply shy.
I misread someone’s nervousness as arrogance.
These experiences taught me a beautiful lesson — people are more complex, unpredictable, and layered than we often expect, and that’s exactly what makes them human.
When you look at beautiful nature through a foggy window, it still looks good, but you can’t figure out what you are missing. Once you wipe the glass clean, you can see everything clearly and really appreciate what’s in front of you.
Since then, I’ve told myself to slow down and not rush to judge people. Instead, I try to get to know them better. It’s only when you remove the illusions that you start to see the good in someone and that’s when things start to get interesting!
