The Five Stages of Trying to Open a Jar
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We’ve all been there: staring at a jar like it’s the most intimidating opponent in a UFC fight. Here’s a breakdown of the five stages of trying to open a jar:
Stage 1: Hopeful Optimism
You grasp the jar, confident you’ll have it open in two seconds flat. "This is easy," you think. You twist. Nothing happens. Hm. Maybe it’s just a bit tight.
Stage 2: Denial
You twist with greater force. Nothing happens. You start thinking, "There’s no way I’m going to let this jar beat me. " You try again. It doesn’t budge. It’s as though the jar knows it’s going to win.
Stage 3: The Quest for Tools
This is where you start searching for every tool in your house that could help you. Butter knives, rubber bands, spoons, your shoes-nothing works. You may even try using a pencil as a last resort. Nothing.
Stage 4: The "Mom Will Do It" Maneuver
Fed up and defeated, you call in reinforcements. "Hey, Mom, can you open this for me? " She takes the jar, gives it a subtle twist, and voilà, it opens as if by magic. How does she do it? She’s virtually a magician.
Stage 5: Defeat
You finally concede that jars are smarter than you are. Maybe it’s time to invest in some pre-opened lids or surrender to a meal that doesn’t involve a jar. And the jar wins again.
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