Love, Sex, and the Ghosts of My Mother’s Warnings

Exploring the complexities of modern relationships

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“When a man sleeps with you, he will dump you eventually.”- My mother.

It was just a statement she made and this stuck in my head all through my teenage years into adulthood, affecting my relationships and intimacy.

Although I knew this phrase did not only stem from my mother’s concern for me but also stemmed from societal expectations and narratives about sex.

Growing up, sex was one taboo topic we were not free to talk about because we were told that it was exclusively for the married folks.

Every girl of my age had the ultimate goal towards marriage-to keep our virginity. So, we were told that any one who demands sex from us before marriage meant no good for us and a suspect too.

I began to understand other reasons why my mom shared that phrase with me. It made me understand then that men are only driven by physical desires while women are meant to guard their hearts and prioritise emotional connection.

Honestly, this whole idea gave me a sense of anxiety and caution in my relationship with the male folks.

I recall my past experiences and I realised that my mother’s warning had a great impact on my past relationships. I found…