Dear Me, I’m Sorry for Everything

Dear self

Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash

I miss you so much. I mean, I wish I could turn back time and make you the you who was still whole and happy again.

I wish you could remain that you who was once so confident and fearless.

But most of all, I wish I’ve been a better person to you.

I'm sorry.

For everything that you’ve been through, I know that simply saying sorry won’t cut it.

I know how many times you pleaded with me to love you, but I never heard your pleas.

I know how many times you have been hurt by the people whom you loved most, but I never had sufficient strength to soothe you.

I hated you when all other people have made you feel nothing.

I loathed you so much that I would not even dare to look after you.

I never treated you nicely; rather, I hurt you numerous times because I never truly loved your whole being.

Sorry.

It took me too long for me to finally see you and accept everything about you.

And it took you so many wounds before I realize that you needed to be saved.

But now, I hope you get it that you deserve it— even how flawed you are.