Journey Through Change: Reflections on Loss and Gratitude

Embracing Memories, Navigating Loss, and Cultivating Gratitude

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Lately, I’ve been hit hard by flashbacks — loads of them. It’s been about three years since my dad passed away, though time slips through my fingers, blurring dates and years into a haze. His passing is one of those memories I’d rather not dwell on. He left us way too soon, just in his 60s. I find myself wrestling with mixed emotions, a part of me irritated, almost angry, at him for neglecting his health. His departure coincided with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, but oddly, it wasn’t the virus that took him. Doctors were stumped, unable to pinpoint the cause as his organs failed, and antibiotics proved futile, despite three negative COVID tests.

The sight of him on that table was unbearable. My heart ached in a way I’d never known. I fell silent, rendered speechless, except for the prayers that poured from my soul — I prayed fervently for him, still do. While my siblings argued and my mother wept, I retreated into myself. Tragedy has a way of revealing different facets of our nature; those who know me understand I can be quite talkative, yet equally capable of profound silence, lost in my own thoughts, grappling with the weight of what has transpired.