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March 31 Is a Day To Celebrate Trans Folks. Let’s Write About Visibility!
The Unseen Toll of Navigating Life as a Gay Man: Visible & Vulnerable
When being seen becomes both salvation and danger. Reflections on visibility from someone who’s lived between cultures, identities, and continents
I still remember the first time someone called me a “faggot” in the streets of Cape Town. I was 19, having just moved from my family’s Portuguese-immigrant enclave to a more cosmopolitan neighborhood. This wasn’t the first time I’ve had that word thrown at me, but this time it hit like a physical blow — not because I didn’t know I was gay, but because I suddenly realized others could see it.
That moment fundamentally changed how I think about visibility in queer communities. And it’s why I find myself feeling deeply conflicted when comes around.
Don’t get me wrong — celebration and recognition matter. But as someone who’s navigated the complexities of multiple identities — being gay, from a Portuguese immigrant family that fled political turmoil in the ’70s to South Africa in the ’70s, moved across five cities, and is now back in Portugal — I’ve learned something…
