Member-only story
On Family, In-Laws, and Becoming the “Trans Uncle”
My experience finding acceptance and trans joy through my family
Author’s Note: Names of children have been changed for privacy
When my spouse Andy and I first started dating in June 2018, I identified as nonbinary and went by they/them pronouns. When it came time to meet her family, I was admittedly nervous. I had not yet come out as queer in previous relationships, and I was not sure how her family would react. Many of my own family and friends struggled to accept my identity (and still do).
Andy assured me that her family would be accepting. Growing up, her parents were close friends with a gay couple. Her mom shares pro-LGBTQIA+ content on Facebook. Her brother and his family live in a progressive city and have liberal political views.
At first, my mother-in-law struggled with they/them pronouns as I was the first person she knew to use them. However, she always corrected herself immediately and it soon became normal. She was surprised that my mom used she/her and my old nickname when they met in person for the first time, but continued to use they/them pronouns for me.
One of the first times I met my Andy’s brother, his wife, and my nephew Josh was at the gender-reveal party for their second child, my niece…
