Trust and distrust: opposites or not? And why does it matter?

Work, friendship, and stolen chocolates

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When you meet someone for the first time, do you trust them straightaway? Let’s think about it carefully. Suppose that you’re being introduced to a new colleague at work or school. We’ll call them ‘Bob’. Bob looks normal. They don’t look especially interesting or dull. They’ve yet to say anything — you are right at the point of being introduced. The person doing the introducing hasn’t signaled anything good or bad about Bob. Do you trust Bob?

Plausibly, in that moment, no. You don’t trust Bob. After all, Bob has done nothing to win you over. Although they seem pretty normal — they present as ordinary — you certainly wouldn’t be thinking about inviting them into your home just yet, and you wouldn’t be about to ask them to care for your children or pets. Bob may be a perfectly nice person, but for all you know at this point, Bob could in fact be an awful individual; exploitative, manipulative, a liar and a thief. So, trusting Bob right away, before Bob has even said a word, well, that feels like it’s a bit too much.

However, it would also seem a bit odd to say that you distrust Bob. For, just as Bob has done nothing to win you over, Bob also hasn’t given you any reason to suspect them of nefarious behaviour. They haven’t said…