What if they left after finding out my weakness
There was a day when I was so tired, sitting curled up in the middle of a dark room. I leaned my body against the cold wall while looking at a collection of self-portraits. Without realizing it, a day had passed, a day that I spent happily, or rather trying to look happy. I looked back at the photo. My bright smile looked beautiful like the sun. If only it was real. I want to be happy, I also want to live. I whispered in my heart, hoping that the moonlight could hear my hopes.
Why should I try so hard to be accepted? Why should I deny myself to make others happy? I was too busy being a light for others, that without me realizing it my light slowly faded. I was too busy being good to others that I forgot to be good to myself first. I tried to deny it, that in my heart I always expected to receive as much love as I gave, until finally the reality hit me, that I never got anything in return, no matter how hard I tried. People say people come and go. That’s true, but they never come back. Did they leave because they found a brighter light than I gave? It feels like everyone left after finding out that I have a weak side too. It feels like everyone left after finding out that I can be broken too. But why? but why does the universe seem to not allow me to be weak? why do i always have to be strong? it felt like being in the rain but you had no shelter and ended up freezing all alone.
Should I continue hiding my weaknesses? Should I continue to be the best so that I will always be accepted?
No. Not like that. It’s not about them, but it’s about me. People come and go like the seasons keep changing. They come when their time comes, and they will leave when their time is up. But my life will go on, no matter what happens. The fact is that my life is not over, even if I think it is. If I dare to move forward, I can still enjoy every new season of my life. There are many new things waiting for me to explore. One thing I can’t deny is that our life doesn’t end because of it, and we still have more opportunities to write more stories about the journey of life that we go through. We can even still learn many new things from that pain.
It’s not about me having to keep hiding my weak side, or me having to be strong so they won’t leave me, but it’s from them that I learn a lot about the meaning of life. Sometimes, painful things actually make us grow, right?They came to teach me that i should appreciate myself and the life that i have more. They came to teach me how can i know myself better and love myself better, even in painful situations. So that my life no longer depends on who comes and goes, but on the meaning they leave behind. They taught me to be the first to hug myself tightly when no one else would reach out to me, because we can’t always expect others to do it for us. Even on the darkest days, everything that happens always has meaning. you have nothing to lose.
They taught me that in the end, we always come back to ourselves
