Can Your Mind Be the Hidden Cure for Perseverance?
This is the story of how my change of perspective steadily defeated all mental enemies for me…
Life is not easy, that is a given answer as we grow up. We are raised with the illusion of looking forward to adulthood; despite crashing down to reality as we grow older. Many of us grow up believing we are the ones who have not succeeded or have hit a plateau so early on. Endlessly doubting “Where did I fail?” or “Why isn’t this what I hoped for?”; Questions like these are roots for personalities we develop as we grow up. At least, that was the question being asked in my head up until a few years ago…
Growing up, I was always tied to expectations and goals for the future. I am not sure if it was the younger sibling syndrome or the implemented expectations since birth that caused so much concern in my mind from a young age. The constant stress of time going down the drain vs. feeling that nothing was ever “enough”; many years passed by while I was questioning my every ounce of existence. Having so many passions yet feeling like each one was a bargain not worth pursuing. My narrative was always overthinking what to pursue. “Am I letting people down?”, “Am I just choosing this because I am indecisive?” or even “Do I have what it takes for this?”; These questions were a vicious cycle that became my daily routine until adulthood.
The Covid pandemic was a hard reset for me and every existing human being. Little did I know, it would be a full mental destruction as well as reconstruction. For the first time, I had no pressure, the world was frozen. Time was not of importance in a scenario where breathing and staying well were the priorities. At that very instance, I discovered so many hidden loose strings in my life. From passions to goals, I had never mentally battled to recognize if what I had achieved at the moment was truly my path to happiness. The utter feeling and daily thinking pushed me to the brink of mental depression.
I had never felt anything like it; some might try to explain it, but it does not come close to living through it. Your mind becomes your worst enemy on the battlefield. It has the power of convincing you of thoughts despite having contradicting evidence. Having dear ones close yet feeling alone and hopeless. Millions of medals and rewards yet feeling like wasted potential. One’s connection with the mind in these moments is almost becoming a host for the parasite. It may feel hopeless, hollow, or even drained inside, but it is true; While the mind can be the worst enemy, it can also be the best ally in the war.
Going through all of this? yes, it felt like being alone in a total abyss. But being alone was the key to everything. During the pandemic, I had nothing but the actions of thinking, realizing, and reflecting. Questioning every single drop of my existence was eye-opening to my reality.
Everything is okay!
There was never a necessity to feel like a failure or disappointment. All along, it was just me, feeding the mind a destructive idea of myself. It was not until I looked back at all my taken steps in life and realized, I have worked every single day of my life to be proud of myself. There is effort where none dare to try or perseverance where others might not even take the first step. The mind is the master culprit behind what is processed inside, yet we are the ones that feed it; regardless if good or bad.
The mind can be all sorts of things. Good or evil, beautiful yet destructive, or even smart versus stupid; the potential is endless. Being able to change perspectives of life is what saved me to the point where it felt like a new side of me had been born. Being able to decompress and just challenge every day is a new beginning. Letting go of the so-called “pressures I had on myself. As if a new chapter had begun in my path. Being able to destroy all those “crumbled realities” from my youth hidden inside was a key event to feel liberated.
Feel free to know that everything YOU are and are doing, is fine. There is no need to corner yourself while in reality, you are doing all that is possible. Putting in the effort, not giving up, and even getting out of bed every day to try is worth total admiration. Occasionally, the mind might be poisoned to think otherwise, but then again, the mind itself can reverse that poison. It is up to us to change and steer our minds in the direction we choose at the end of the day…
