Member-only story
SELF-AWARENESS
If You’ve Ever Been Ashamed of What Makes You Different
This one’s for you, if you’ve wanted to hide your “imperfections”
CW: Refers to self-harm
“Why don’t you consider tattooing over your scars?”
I’ve heard this many times, and I’m sure you have too if you have done anything “unconventional.”
I sometimes want to scream and tell them, ”I don’t want to.” And why should I? Only I know what led me there. To the point where I couldn’t feel anything at all. Cutting through my skin was easier than bearing the unbearable screams inside my head. The ache became a part of me, where it was buried too deep to separate.
And in that stillness, that unbearable numbness, I chose to feel physical pain rather than facing the emotional one. Because I desperately needed to feel something…anything. To remind myself I was still here. Not thriving. Not even okay. Just… existing.
It sounds strange, I know, but when you’ve felt numb for too long, even pain feels like proof that something is alive inside you.
I’m done with inflicting my body with pain. I’m done with seeking validation from others. Why should I put my body through more pain to cover…
