What it takes to be kind: a life of kindness without Christ
Starting off any topic by saying I am fueled by annoyance is not how I typically like to begin. However, in this case the truth of this emotion is weighing heavily on my mind. In order to explain how I find myself in this upsetting situation I must first give the back story which in itself had been what I had intended to solely write about this evening.
Jeffrey is my neighbor. He is well known throughout our small community for being the guy in the crazy hats who rides a bicycle. He is the guy who does yardwork in the summer and shovels snow in the winter for his neighbors. This is how he buys his groceries.
Jeffrey is a kind man of sixty plus years. Thin, frail, and short of stature, at about five feet six inches tall. Weighing maybe 110 pounds. His bones and muscle structure are literally visible through his dark complexion. Speaking with him gives insight into how Jeffrey views the world. He processes things a little differently. His reality is a bit off kilter.
While many men and women Jeffrey’s age are living out their retirement happily in a home with family, Jeffrey is living in the elements under a carport. Where is his family you ask…whose carport…and why is he outside? Oh friends buckle up for a tragically sad tale of death, betrayal, neglect, and cruelty.
Small disclaimer: This story is accurate to my knowledge from what has been told to me, what I have witnessed, and from what has been found in public records.
Twenty-eight years ago Jeffrey was in a car accident that left him with life changing injuries. Jeffrey lived with his mother up until her death. Once his mother passed away, the home was willed to Jeffrey and his siblings. He is currently on the deed to the home. After the passing of his mother, his sister put him out of his home. He moved into the carport.
Jeffrey has lived in a carport for eight years. Take a moment. Think about living through a North Carolina winter outdoors while your family members sit warm and comfortable in front of the tv just five feet from where you sit shivering. Where you sit freezing. Where you sit risking death from exposure. Sitting with your grief. Alone. Cold. Forgotten.
Jeffrey is used for lawn maintenance. He is spoken to cruelly by his family. A man who openly still mourns the loss of his mother is set aside like a sack of garbage until he is needed for a task.
Having worked in the mental health field for over twenty-five years, I recognized that this man, this suffering human, needed assistance from Adult Protective Services. I went to the local DSS office. Upon investigating his case they extended an offer of assistance. Unfortunately, Jeffrey didn’t quite understand in what capacity DSS could help him so he demanded the settlement money from the accident that occurred twenty- eight years ago. DSS had no choice but to close his case. He was a step away from being on a list for a subsidized apartment.
The shelter that Jeffrey used for his “bedroom” was an old car that had the windows blocked for privacy. It sat in the backside of the carport. One morning as I was in the backyard with my dogs, I watched as Jeffrey’s “bedroom” was towed away by his brother. His brother. Took his shelter. The place he had to get out of the elements. The one place he could go to get warm. The screams were heart wrenching.
A few days later as I was taking the dogs out for their morning potty, I noticed Jeffrey wrapped in a parka bent over in a small lawn chair attempting to sleep. I went into my house, fished out my camping cot, and took it next door. I then showed him how to set it up. When I told him it was a gift he literally just didn’t know how to react. It seemed as if no one had ever gifted him anything. The day after, I returned with a light sleeping bag. This was a temporary fix since winter was quickly approaching.
Storms started coming more frequently. Temperatures started to drop. My concern turned to hypothermia. A plea on Facebook for a sub zero sleeping bag, backpacking tent, bicycle (his had broke), and food cards resulted in a local couple fulfilling most of these needs for Jeffrey. Two additional donations have been made for a grocery card.
This assistance manifested within less than 24 hours of the post proving that anyone can make a difference. You just have to put forth a bit of effort to get assistance for those who have no voice.
If the system fails turn to social media or local churches.
The situation with Jeffrey saddens me. It’s inhumane to treat a family member in this manner.
Now here’s the part that annoys the absolute poop out of me. I am a Pagan. I follow no religion. I broke with Christianity for so many reasons that the topic needs its own story. Yet I keep being told things like:
-“You obviously have Christ in your heart.”
My response was along the lines of it’s just what humans should do. It’s what I learned from my grandparents. I learned from example
With the response of:
“I still believe Christ is in your heart.”
-“I know you don’t believe but God is working through you.”
-“You were brought here by God for a purpose. You are needed here. God doesn’t make mistakes.”
-My favorite, the thing that sent me over the annoyance edge was being told by one of the donors that “They haven’t given up on me.” Meaning they are going to continue to attempt to bring me to Christ. Once I caught on to what he meant, I responded: “I’m not Christian. All Father Odin takes good care of me. And Mother Morrigan.” His facial expression was priceless.
Why can’t a person just be considered nice without that quality having to come from an exterior supernatural force?!
My actions should be the norm for the way we treat one another regardless of religion. Regardless of any Deities. Human decency just should exist.
I’m angry that being a decent person cannot be accepted without there being some connection to Christianity. It’s like a person can’t be a decent, caring person without some outside supernatural force influencing them to do good deeds. If this is the truth of our current social norm then my hope for humanity is diminishing.
My grandmother and grandfather deserve the credit for my actions not Christ. Now let me be clear about my feelings and beliefs on Jesus. I do believe he was a great teacher who actually lived a very long time ago. He had a following. He taught beautiful principles. What I don’t believe in is the church and the Bible.
Thank you for allowing me to vent my frustration and my mix of anger for both Jeffrey and the conversion attempts. Also thank you for allowing me to honor the memory of my grandparents.
If you know anyone out there that can further help Jeffrey please send me a message. My dream is someone with an old minivan, unoccupied tiny home, or camper will see his story and reach out. Or possibly a live in grounds keeper position. He is an amazing landscaper.
Jeffrey is a deserving human being in pain and need. Let’s try to assist this man to make it into his seventies.
Please note, I am not asking for nor taking any type of cash donations for Jeffrey. Peace.
