Think you know how to take a left turn?

Well, come to Rhode Island. Soon you will be questioning your understanding of all the rules of the road (not to mention your command of the English language).

Please understand that I tease out of deep affection. After all, I’m a Rhode Islander by choice and I really do love a lot of things about being here. (I swear it’s not just access to other parts of the Northeast with a cheaper mortgage and, frankly, I’m a little offended that you’d suggest that.)

But there are some things about driving here that have been a challenge. This is not your basic, “people here be driving crazy” rant. The truth is the typical Rhode Island driver is not hyper-aggressive or especially selfish. In fact, the most vexing things about driving here are the ways in which drivers are not aggressive enough.

This leads into my public service announcement:

When turning left at a signaled intersection with two directional traffic for both intersecting streets, you are allowed to (and, in fact, SHOULD) advance into the intersection (taking up a little less than fifty percent of the intersecting street) while the light is green and oncoming traffic progresses. When a suitable opening appears, hopefully when oncoming traffic gets a yellow light, you can complete the turn.

For me this is not revelatory. It is the way I have always understood it. But there have been enough occasions like the one I share below that I recently had to go online to double check my sanity. At that point, I found on sources like AAA, WikiHow, and the more muddled language on the RI Department of Motor Vehicles website, that I was right.

So, you may ask, exactly what is going on in Rhode Island? Consider the following:

An intersection of two streets, both with traffic going in both directions. You’re turning left and the car in front of you is turning left. There is no arrow. The light is red and turns green. The car in front of you stays put — behind the stop line. Oncoming traffic goes by and the car in front of you does not advance into the intersection. Instead, one of the following mind-bending situations takes place:

1. The light turns yellow and then red, and it is only during one of these junctures that the driver ahead of you aggressively turns, tires screeching, perhaps after the light turns red.

2. The driver in front of you never turns and stays put through the red light and this process begins again. This individual remains behind the stop line when the light turns green and does not go unless waved by a polite oncoming driver or there is a significant gap within oncoming traffic.

3. You lose your mind and begin blowing the horn and screaming out the window and the driver stares at you befuddled as you miss another light and fantasize about a savage road rage pursuit and takedown.

This is not an infrequent occurrence even though there aren’t a great number of these intersections. More alarmingly, there have been cases where I am in front and advance into the intersection, and oncoming drivers flip out and blow horns and yell — assuming that since I’d advanced into the intersection I am about to immediately turn without regard for oncoming traffic. And why wouldn’t you think that if you believe you can only advance into the intersection immediately before a turn.

Let’s skip the part where I use this as evidence of the erosion of American society — after all you have the entirety of the internet to find people attributing the collapse of the social fabric to their pet nuisance.

Nor is it because of a lack of virtue or intelligence. I would blame a lack of clarity and opportunity — after all this is not an intersection type that can be found in abundance in this area, the language on the RI DMV site is poor, and they no longer require a road test.

Until recently, I have raged about this topic but also would have said that it is probably safer for everyone if those who feel uncomfortable executing this maneuver just stayed out the intersection.

But then there was the following incident:

An intersection in Pawtucket. I’m in the left turn lane, turning left behind a line of cars. This intersection has a green arrow that passes with a general green light where drivers can turn left when the opportunity arrives.

When the arrow cedes to a green light only, the car in front me stops at the intersection. I decide not to reacts for two reasons.

1. The green arrow guarantees the opportunity to turn when it comes around, and

2. My son is in the car and I’m attempting to model constructive behavior.

The car directly behind me? Well, they could not mirror my calm. They lay into the horn and show visible rage when I look into the rear-view mirror. But there’s nothing that can be done — at least for a reasonable person.

We have situation #1 from above. The light turns yellow and the driver in front of me decides to go. But they’re not alone. The car behind me pulls into the lane for oncoming traffic (on my left) to go around me and the car in front — which is now making this turn at the same time. I have a front row seat for the near four-way collision that occurs between the two simultaneously turning vehicles and intersecting traffic going both ways.

The great blowing of horns and screaming of expletives pretty much nullifies any notion of my son not seeing adults behaving poorly. But, thankfully no one was hurt.

This near accident was the fault of only the car that decided to enter oncoming traffic to take a left on red when they were 3rd. However, I empathize with the frustration that led to this. After all, if they’re driving in Rhode Island regularly, this probably wasn’t the first time today that they experienced this.

But it really doesn’t help when those on the side of the righteous are hyper-aggressive assholes.

Drive safely everyone.