SELF REFLECTION

I am More Robot Than Human

Oh, she? She can do everything and take up every load thrown at her way. Because she, my dear friend, is a robot.

My robotic self. Photo by Author.

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When I was named, Apeksha, which means “expectation”, I did not know that all my life I would have to prove myself to the name.

Being the eldest child and a responsible daughter, I was just supposed to be another parent. I was supposed to understand, to compromise, and to make amends with everything happening around me.

A tough childhood turns some people into rebels and others silent. I belonged to the latter category. The reticent and obedient one who would just do everything right. I did too. I studied. Stayed away from every bad habit. Got good marks. Made my parents proud of my earnings and the list would just go on.

“Oh, Apeksha? Yeah, she will do it!”

“She will do everything. Just tell her how to.”

Day by day, little by little, I never knew when I started taking up responsibilities and the load of people’s expectations that I successfully turned into a robot. I kept on functioning, day and night, without any complaint.