RELATIONSHIPS

When Love Isn’t Enough

Part two: A cautionary story of American expats marrying in Japan

Author and Dave (Image by author)

Sometimes grief steals your writing.

For me, this has been one of those times.

A friend in need

Not long ago, I wrote about my American friend, Dave, who moved to Japan and married a Japanese woman. After the two of them had children, their marriage degraded. Dave’s wife’s untreated mental illness caused her to behave irrationally, hurting not only herself, but also Dave and their children. By the end of my writing, Dave’s wife had decided she would do something unheard of in Japan. She had decided to opt for divorce and to relinquish custody to Dave.

Dave found his future uncertain. His life in Japan was dependent on his marriage to his wife. He had reached out to me, his best friend of 22 years, to ask if he and his two children could come to America and start over in my home.

I told him, “Yes. Yes. Unequivocally, yes.”

Dave and his youngest son. (Image by author)

Dave for his part, relieved but disappointed in himself, was dismayed to be coming what he…