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Minds Without Borders

A thoughtful look at how culture, society, politics, media and economics affect us all.

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MARRIAGE

What It’s Like to Be the Breadloser

All you ever wanted to know about being the low-income partner of a rich man

7 min readOct 9, 2024

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Miniature plastic figurines of a man and woman embracing for a kiss on top of a pile of gold coins. The man and woman have light skin tones, with the man having black hair and wearing a yellow shirt with black pants and white shoes. The woman has strawberry blonde hair and wears a yellow/pink crop top with a white skirt and white shoes. The background is white/grey.
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If you’d told 20-year-old me when I first met my now husband that he’d end up being the rich one, I would’ve laughed in your face. Of course, I was majoring in English and he was majoring in Global Business, so consider it egg on my face that one of our degrees ended up being lucrative.

Together for six years and married for three, my husband has been on an upward trajectory our entire relationship. He rose from a regular salaryman to starting his own company. Me? Not so much. Since relocating to Japan three years ago, I’ve bounced between so many jobs I’m surprised I don’t have motion sickness.

With the gap between us as wide as it’s ever been, you might be wondering how we manage to stay together. What interpersonal conflicts arise when one partner is the breadwinner, leaving the other with no other destiny but to be the breadloser — and how do we make our relationship work despite this troubling dynamic?

The odds are in his favor

The reason I wanted to write this story is because I’m not alone in being out-earned by my partner. Thanks to a little something called the gender pay gap, women in…

Minds Without Borders
Minds Without Borders

Published in Minds Without Borders

A thoughtful look at how culture, society, politics, media and economics affect us all.

Annika Hotta
Annika Hotta

Written by Annika Hotta

Professional Alexander Graham Bell hater who writes about accessibility, education, disabled stories, & life in Japan.

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