Food

What Is There To Eat?

Feeding picky people is downright grueling

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Our ancestors ate shit like and would probably throw a bowl of it at us if they could hear us moaning about there being “nothing” to eat despite a fridge full of food. But moan we do.

My daughter, Erma, asked for help coming up with something different to feed her kids, Lillian and Rupert. Erma stopped eating dairy to end some embarrassingly digestive issues, and in the way of all kids, Lillian and Rupert seemingly made a pact to agree to hate everything the other eats and love everything the other hates.

Rupert doesn’t like to eat meat. Although she is a cute little girl, Lillian eating a chicken leg reminds me of a lion on the serengeti chomping on a haunch of zebra.

They want to live on apples, bananas and berries of all kinds, which is probably why my daughter often addresses them as her “stinky little monkeys.”

Things are no better at my house.

My husband is a vegetarian who doesn’t like cheese, peanut butter, eggplant, squash, asparagus, mushrooms or peppers. He also can’t handle spice.

If you happen to notice that many of the things he doesn’t like are the very things that people commonly offer to vegetarians, yes, I…