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Wasting money
What If The Afterlife Involves A Judgy Celestial Accountant Who Adds Up Your Financial Sins?
“I spent HOW MUCH on shoes while on Earth?”
Imagine if, when you die, you have to meet with an accountant who goes over your earthly finances.
“You made this much money,” the divine number cruncher says, writing a surprisingly large number onto a piece of paper. “And here’s how much you spent on housing and utilities. And groceries. Now, do you have any idea how much you spent on pizzas?”
He writes down another surprisingly large number.
“That can’t be right,” you protest.
“It is. Have you forgotten how much pizza you ate when you were 20? It was a lot.”
“Still,” you say. “I guess if that’s the worst that I — ”
“Ha! That’s not the worst. If you had a dime for every time you bought fast food, well, let me put it this way. We wouldn’t be having this conversation until 10 years from now if you’d laid off the french fries.”
You sigh. “What’s done is done. I think I handled my money fairly well.”
The accountant laughs so hard his wings shake. A feather comes loose and wafts its way slowly through the air, landing on…
