Member-only story
Drinking
That Time I Got Drunk In the Police Station
It was a helluva good time
The officer watched as I did my best to balance on one foot. I felt shaky thanks to all the booze I’d had, but I very cleverly realized I could stay upright if I reached behind me and held onto a table for support.
I wasn’t as clever as I thought, though. The cop knew I was cheating and I failed the test. There was no getting around it: I was drunk.
“I would arrest you for drunk driving right now,” the officer said.
But he didn’t. Instead, we returned to our seats and I poured myself another drink.
This was many years ago and I can’t remember all the details, which tends to happen when one is drinking a lot.
I was in a conference room at an area police station. With me were not only several police officers but some of my newspaper colleagues. I did not try to write the story myself for the same reason I wouldn’t have driven that night: I was drunk AF.
It was mid-December and we wanted to run a story about drunk driving just before New Year’s Eve. I was always looking for ways to make the obligatory annual stories more fun and interesting.
