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LIFE
How Living Abroad Gave Me a Stunning Insight Into the American Psyche
You’re not ‘free’ if you’re compelled to behave in a way that’s contrary to your authentic self
I grew up in a household that didn’t value manners. We occasionally said “please” and “thank you” but it was always done with a smirk. We weren’t really trying to be polite. Instead we’d become accustomed to making manners into a source of mockery.
It wasn’t just my family, this attitude extended to my whole community. Our entire sense of humor was based on challenging boundaries. If we said something that got a laugh, we took it as encouragement to take it a step further. The comedy didn’t stop until somebody said something so awful that whatever authority figure was present had to react.
Most of the time we escaped punishment because whoever was in charge had to begrudgingly admit that they’d let the situation escalate. We were all tiny little dishonest lawyers perpetually arguing our innocence.
Even when I was immersed in this form of hateful culture, on a deep level I felt that something was wrong. On many occasions, I made a joke that I knew to be hurtful and justified myself by thinking, “She’ll take note of the context and understand this is hilarious.”…
