Humanity

An Animal Jury Would Throw Our Asses In Jail

And our grandchildren might be a bit judgy about how we are living right now, too.

This kangaroo already looks pretty judgy. Photo by on

“This court is now in session,” said the badger. “The Honorable Judge Betty residing.”

“I object!” said The Man. “This is a kangaroo court!”

Judge Betty gaveled the courtroom into silence. “One more outburst from you, Man, and I will hold you in contempt. My species is irrelevant. You’ll have the same justice in my courtroom as you’d have if I were a rhino or raccoon.”

The Man sat back down. He knew he was screwed.

Just imagine if animals held humanity to account.

The charges? Crimes against humanity. Crimes against nature. Crimes against the Earth.

Sure, when you watch a fox rip apart a rabbit in a nature show, you feel bad for the rabbit. You feel bad for the rabbit even as you sit on your sofa eating a bucket of fried chicken you bought…