THIS HAPPENED TO ME

All I Want for Christmas Is My Thirty-two Teeth

I’ve invested more than $20k in dental work

I hate this person.

My friend snubbed out her cigarette while we drank our morning coffee. Only a few minutes passed before she lit another. We shared stories about our week. She blew out the gray smoke from her cigarette and her white teeth, worthy of a TV commercial, gleamed like pearls as she laughed at something I said.

I envied her and wondered why she had such perfect teeth while I have shitty ones. I don’t even smoke.

Mom always said life isn’t fair.

What a nice smile you have

One of the first things I notice about a person is their teeth, and I’m attracted to the big, shiny white teeth on people like Olympian snowboarder . He has the Cadillac of teeth. I bet he’s never had a cavity in his life. My husband is one of these people. On his return from the dentist, it’s “no cavities.” Whenever I go, it’s “You need three fillings and you have a chipped tooth.”

We all have that one thing we wish we could change about ourselves — mine would be to have beautiful white teeth, but at this point, I guess I’d just like to keep all of my teeth even if they aren’t the color of snow. I inherited my parents’…