Where Is MY Happiness?

Photo by on

We went to the sunflower farm back in July and had a blast. I went with the kids and left my husband at home. We got onto a tractor, which was a 12-minute ride from the parking lot. Then the tractor lets you off, and we got to spend so much time amongst the sunflowers. How could you not be happy looking at the sunflowers and seeing them row after row?

It is hard to determine how many sunflowers there are, but I loved the beauty of the bright yellow flowers and the clouds in the big, blue sky. The beauty of the scenery would take anyone’s mood to bliss and happiness because how could you not be happy when you are in the midst of the beautiful yellow flowers?

And of course, I love flowers, and it is in these moments when I watch my kids run around the field and take pictures. At this moment, I do find happiness, and I do find bliss. I look at my son and get tears in my eyes because here we are at the sunflower farm, not the hospital, where my son has been sick since April.

Among the flowers, I reflect that we are all healthy and together. I don’t want to think about the future, my PTSD, or anything else. I want to stay in this moment and breathe it all in. I look at the flowers, the bumblebees, and the clouds and say, “Oh, how beautiful!”

And just like that, the happiness and the bliss are gone. As we head home in the car, all of…