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That Is Not Love...
When what you feel isn’t what it seems
About a decade and a half ago, my ex said, “Anshuman, you don’t love me; you love the idea of loving the person you want me to be.” The 21-year-old me couldn’t grasp what she meant. All I could see was the love of my life questioning the legitimacy of what I believed to be my deep and pure love. How could she?
When her words did start making sense to me as I grew older and (probably) wiser, I chose denial for the first few years.
Today, at 36, with the perceived wisdom of an owl and a decade having passed since I finally accepted her verdict, I still find myself trapped in relationships far from love. I continue to convince myself they are until it’s too late to recognize the truth. So frustrating! Will I ever be wise enough?
One good news is that I’m not alone in this quest for wisdom — the shield that protects against illusions masquerading as love. I’ve witnessed many, whether friends or foes, confuse fleeting feelings for love, struggling to avoid repeating the same mistake.
Now, there’s nothing new about adolescents and young adults confusing fleeting feelings and fantasies with love.
Whether it’s pure lust, romanticizing the idea of being in love, imagining your girlfriend as the woman of your dreams, or simply…
