Lost in Confusion

Feeling misplaced in life

Unsettled, adrift —
Am I doing too much,
Or merely nothing at all?
Fun whispers its seduction,
Neglect hovers in shadow.
Can I not hold both in trembling hands,
Balance the fleeting joy with the steady weight of consequence?

The waves rise, then crash.
I am told: Make friends.
But have I made the wrong ones?
Why this ache of judgment?
Substances tempt,
Yet I draw the line,
A careful keeper of my own ruin.

Time slips like sand,
Coins clatter into the abyss.
Still, I chase life in stolen moments —
People who breathe fire into my hollow chest,
Even as their flames consume my footing.
Am I wrong?
Are they wrong?
Or is it this fragile thread of existence
Frayed by my own cursed longing?

BPD — a specter at my side?
Whispering, “Explore. Take what was denied.”
And yet, every indulgence,
Every…