Find the Beauty in Pain
Embracing Forgiveness
Navigating through complex emotions — grief, jealousy, regret, or resentment, is really difficult, especially if no one ever taught you how to deal with it.
I can’t help but feel a bit envy of those who grew up in healthy environments — parents who love and support you for who you are, allowing you to be your true self no matter what anyone else thinks. Not all of us get that lucky break, right? Many of us go through situations that leave us feeling like “broken people.” But here’s the thing: there’s beauty in the pieces we gather up to reassemble ourselves.
Honestly, my childhood wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. My parents divorced when I was just six, and that led to emotional complications I shouldn’t have had to deal with at such a young age. And let’s be real: it’s not just divorce that can hurt kids; abandonment, neglect, and abuse all pile on emotional baggage that weighs us down. This is where resentment and bitterness can start creeping in.
“All things are created and destined to be broken someday. I think being broken or damaged is never a bad thing.”
- Kiyokawa Hiroki
I recently learned about this beautiful Japanese philosophy called Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with lacquer dusted with gold, making it even more stunning and unique. So, how does this relate to resentment and healing?
The truth is, that not all of us have a perfect story to tell. Life is full of ups and downs. It’s so important to forgive those who have let us down. Resentment usually comes from unmet expectations, and that’s where disappointment and anger set in. We need to accept that our parents are flawed, too; they’re not perfect. It takes wisdom to learn how to forgive — just remember, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. There’s hidden beauty in our pain.
Carrying around guilt, disappointment, resentment, or bitterness is exhausting. But here’s the silver lining: there’s a certain beauty in the process of healing and learning to forgive. It’s all about shedding that emotional baggage.
With my parents, I’m still working through this process. Those emotional wounds are still fresh. I’ve had to cut ties with my paternal family, and my relationship with my maternal family is distant since I didn’t grow up with them. But I hold on to hope that, with time, things will change for the better.
In embracing my past, I’ve come to realize that I can still find strength and beauty among the broken. It’s a journey, and every step counts toward reclaiming my narrative and discovering the beauty that lies in my healing.
So, if you’re feeling resentful or broken, just know you’re not alone. Give yourself permission to forgive and heal. Look for the gold in the cracks, and don’t underestimate the beauty that can arise from your struggles. Your story might not be perfect, but it’s uniquely yours, and that’s what makes it beautiful.
Do you carry unresolved resentments?
If you want to know more about my personal journey, check out these articles:
If you want to know my personal tips on becoming a better version of myself, read these:
My personal favorites:
